Soul Scientist

Dear friends,

Thank you very much for reading and sharing in this journey of learning, listening, and leaning hard on our Good God in the wilderness of cancer. Your encouragement through prayers, calls, notes, meals, and other helps is precious to me – thank you! Everything in life isn’t always hard now, but a good bit of it is a challenge every single day.

I wonder if Jabez had similar thoughts in his life? Challenges of the unknown and unplanned. Circumstances out of his control. Conditions he never asked for and can’t fix. Scripture implies that even the meaning of his name was a reminder of what he knew in life (Jabez = pain). Yet Scripture doesn’t tell us if he said things like this: “thank you for inviting me to your wedding despite my name” or “I’m grateful you wanted me to come to your harvest celebration in spite of my name” or “I appreciate you making the time to listen to me and pray for my pain” or something similar?

Yet Scripture does tell us this about Jabez – Jabez called out to the God of Israel: “If only You would bless me, extend my border, let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm, so that I will not cause any pain.” And God granted his request.  (1 Chronicles 4:10 HCSB). Obviously, Jabez knew not just the meaning of his name, but the potential implications of his name. That he could be the cause of pain. That wherever he went or whatever he did, he could bring pain even to the happiest of moments. Because of this, was he unwanted, ignored, or avoided? Scripture doesn’t say, but I think that could’ve been a natural result of his name…

And honestly, some days I feel the same about being a bringer of pain. When a close friend hears about my diagnosis and tears drip from her eyes. When I have to say no or cancel another looked-forward-to opportunity because of the demands and effects of treatment. When more biopsy results come back with their impacts of more questions and more life-changes. When the future is unknown or expected to be vastly different than hoped for. All of these instances have brought pain in ways I’ve not known before nor want anyone else to know either.

But I do know this.

God is here and knows everything, including the pain.

He doesn’t ignore or dismiss the sorrow or grief.

He gently tells me to let Him carry the pain and me, too.

Scripture doesn’t tell us a lot about Jabez other than his name and his prayer. Things such as his age, his physical abilities or gifts, his relationship with others, or the like remain as nothing more than questions. Yet we know what was important about Jabez – his relationship with his God. We can see the intimacy of this relationship in God’s description of him as more honorable than his brothers (1 Chronicles 4:9). Likewise, we can see the intimacy in Jabez’s prayer to his God in his cry not to live like his name’s meaning of pain.

Many have used Jabez’s prayer as a formula for a happy and successful life. They believed the recitation of his words would align their circumstances, not just to avoid pain, but to conquer it. And with stories I’ve heard or read, many have experienced this hope.

Yet, as one who lives with constant pain and reliance on Jabez’s God to make it through another day full of hard things, I see another side to Jabez’s prayer. Please hear me – I’m not dismissing the value of Jabez’s prayer in any way. Rather, I’m seeing a deeper fullness to his prayer for those of us who live in pain’s grip like he did.   

The fullness I see to Jabez’s prayer is that Scripture doesn’t tell me any more than this – And God granted his request. I don’t know if he was physically healed, financially freed, or socially accepted, or not. I don’t know if he lived a long life surrounded by family and friends in a big home with great climate, views, and food, or not. And the list of unknowns goes on… But I know this – he was blessed by his God in his life. And I know this – that kind of life cannot be duplicated nor denied, nor can it be faked or forced. It can only be received.

The receiving of such a gift requires empty hands on my part. For if my hands are full of anything I’ve gotten on my own, then there won’t be room for receiving the blessing.

On that note, I can picture Jabez praying in the same way I’ve done many times – collapsed on the floor or bed, face down, tears dripping, with upturned hands empty of everything but surrender. Desperate for hope, courage, and faith; empty of joy, strength, and endurance. And there, in the praying, I’m ready for receiving.

Jabez recognized he could do nothing about pain. Jabez knew God could do everything about pain. So, he held out a mustard-seed of faith and asked his God to do something about the pain for him. And God did.

I know I can do nothing about pain. I know God can do everything about pain. He’s done it for others. He can do it for me.

But I must recognize this.

God might not remove the pain, but He will give the hope, courage, and faith to praise in the pain.

He will give the joy, strength, and endurance to remain faithful in the pain.

Those aren’t just words of cheap grace – those are truths gleaned from searching Scripture, hearing others’ stories, and my past thirteen years of chronic illness. I remain here mired in pain facing an unknown wilderness of cancer. But no matter what is next, God is with me. And that truth is far more than enough for any diagnosis or decision, problem or pain.

Prayers breathed in and out through long days and longer nights have brought Jabez’s blessing on my own life. I’ve received those blessings of: extended borders of faith and wisdom; having God’s hand upon me against grasping fear; being kept from the temptation of defeat and disbelief; and not being the cause of another’s pain in my lack of compassion or understanding towards them. God gives what is needed when it is needed.

Yes, this pain remains. But far more importantly, so does my God.

He hasn’t ever left and promises He never will. He guides and stays alongside.

There is nothing coming that He doesn’t know about. There is nowhere I can go that He isn’t already there. There are no tears or prayers He ignores.

There is no pain bigger than my God.

There is no pain borne without my God.

And the same is true for you, today. It’s true for all of us for tomorrow and for every day after that.

For if our eyes full of tears from empty hands and hearts, we are ready to receive a blessing like Jabez did. A blessing not just for us, but for others to go out from us into a world empty of hope, courage, and faith. To those in dire need of Jabez’s and our Good God today.

A blessing like Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV,  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Our pain can be for His praise, if our hands and hearts are full of the blessing of His comfort.

Are you ready for this kind of blessing? I know I am.

Gratefully,

Beth

written by and copyrighted to Beth Madison, Ph.D., 2024.