Soul Scientist

Mark 9:24 GNT The father at once cried out, “I do have faith, but not enough. Help me have more!”

Lately, I’ve been struggling with trusting God to provide for one major area of my life. Much prayer with many tears, hours, and steps wasted in worried pacing that gets me nowhere except further into frustration and fear. I haven’t worn a hole in my living room floor yet simply because it’s heavy-duty material.

Pages upon pages of journaled prayers. Line after line of underlined Scripture. Breath after breath of truths said aloud against the doubt screaming in my head and heart.

Yet here I sit in that same ash-heap of disbelief where the peace is fleeting and the worry unyielding. Just like how I sat yesterday and for many days before.

But my Good God was kind to show me this truth about myself today. The truth that “you believe that I can do anything for anyone, but you don’t believe that I will do anything for you.” In other words, I believe nothing is impossible for God, but I don’t believe that He will do the impossible for me.

I’ve written and said many a time that God will bring good from all situations and struggles, circumstances and challenges, just like He’s promised. And I meant every word of it.

But I don’t truly believe that God will bring good in this situation in my life. For if I did believe that truth, I wouldn’t be over here being eaten alive by the fire ants of fear while sitting on this ash heap of anxiety.

And if I did believe that truth deep in the soil of my soul, I’d be confidently walking forward with a slingshot and five smooth stones in my hands ready to topple that giant in front of me like David did with Goliath (see 1 Samuel chapter 17). David didn’t just believe that God could do the impossible for him. He believed that God would do the impossible for him.

That’s the kind of faith I want growing in the soil of my soul.

To believe that God can and God will.

The doubt hasn’t disappeared. The fears haven’t fled. The worry hasn’t worn itself out.  

So, today, I’m still writing down those prayers, underlining those verses, and speaking aloud those truths. But now, I’m doing all of that while standing up and holding out a mustard seed of faith like David did with his stones.

Nothing is impossible for God. And that nothing includes Him doing the impossible for me.

Today.

And again, tomorrow.

And again, every day into eternity.

I can rely on God’s faithfulness knowing that if I fall back onto the ash heap of disbelief tomorrow, He won’t stop doing the impossible of giving His love to and for me in more ways than I can count or understand.

Having said all that, if you struggle with disbelief (or you have friends or family who struggle), please pray for our Good God to help the seeds of faith to flourish in the soil of all of our souls. Thank you for praying for them (and me, too)!

If you’re looking for some Scripture to help in growing faith, here’s a few of my favorites:

Jeremiah 32:17

Genesis 50:20

Luke 1:37

Romans 8: 28 and 38-39

Philippians 4:13.

If you have other verses to add to this list, please put them here in the comments section so all of us can be encouraged by them. (I know I need all the help I can get!)

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Written by and copyrighted to Beth Madison, Ph.D., 2024.