Soul Scientist

Another excerpt from “Letters to Sarah: Thriving in Chronic Illness” – may our Good God encourage you with this!

Psalm 119:34 AMP Give me understanding [a teachable heart and the ability to learn], that I may keep Your law; And observe it with all my heart.

Psalm 119:130 CEV Understanding your word brings light to the minds of ordinary people.

Dearest Sarah,

Even if you’re not a scientist like me with all the questions all the time about all the things, I think your days might be full of questions too as a chronic illness patient. Days full of asking and answering questions from those many nurses, doctors, therapists, and others medical personnel. And that doesn’t even begin to include all the questions from concerned family, friends, and strangers who don’t understand the daily demands and decisions of living with chronic illness! Yet even for a scientist like me who loves questions, their questions can be exhausting which is often more than I can graciously deal with on top of the crushing fatigue and pain already present from the illnesses. 

Speaking of questions, I’ve learned that God not only welcomes my questions, He instructs me with answers for my questions to Him. As importantly, He gives the grace for me to answer others kindly in their questions. For His answers are always complete in loving-kindness to me and completing in their peace for me. His answers bring hope and health for my soul especially when the answers from doctors try to defeat and draw me further away from faith into fear.

Faith helps me ask the important question of “how can I honor You in this, God?” while fear haunts me with the distracting question of “why is this happening to me?”. Both questions come out of the same pain but have vastly different purposes – that of obedience and opportunity or doubt and denial. The faith question recognizes obedience to my God in His perfect plan for good in all ways and all things at all times. In contrast, the fear question revolves around doubt that everything relies on me and only what I can do for myself here and now. And both of those questions prompt question three, “where do I go from here?.” Because there arises a crossroads with these questions with every diagnosis and doctor appointment, treatment and therapy. Or in other words, there comes a crossroads in these questions every single day.

Yes, a Cross-road.

And the Cross-road is this: to go down the road of a choosing of my own hypotheses and theories that all I can do is give up and give in to all of this or to go down the road of a choosing of hallelujahs and testimonies that Jesus has done everything necessary for life for me already.

I know deep in the soil of my soul that this Cross-road of willingness to worship will always lead to the Answer of Jesus Who is Wisdom and Peace and Hope for the now and the not-yet. Jesus took the Cross-road through great suffering all the way to death for me. And this truth prompts the question – “why should I my road be anything different from His as I am a Christ-follower?.” For after thirteen years of questions, I’ve learned that this suffering in chronic illness demands the daily death of me for the harvest of hallelujahs and hope in worship. Trust me, that harvest is rich and full in the 30-, 60-, 100-fold of Matthew 13 each and every day!

And that kind of harvest along with this verse is what I’m praying for you today, dear one – Colossians 1:9 TLB So ever since we first heard about you we have kept on praying and asking God to help you understand what he wants you to do; asking him to make you wise about spiritual things;

So, sweet Sarah, keep seeking faith and trusting God in your Cross-roads in each and every day. Know that you will be satisfied by the understanding and Presence of our Good God, no matter how deep or dark or long or lingering the pain, grief, and loss of all of this. He is good; He is greater: He is gracious. He is with you for and will provide understanding, grace, and strength for all the questions and answers and days and nights.

With much love from your friend,

Beth                                          

Dear Friends,

Could you please do me the favor of liking and sharing these posts and inviting others to sign up to follow the blog? May our Good God grace you with much joy for you and to share with others today!

Thank you. I’m honored to call each of you friend.

gratefully,

Beth

written by and copyrighted to Beth Madison, Ph.D., 2024.