Soul Scientist

Here’s another excerpt from Letters to Sarah: Thriving in Chronic Illness coming in early 2025 from Northeastern Baptist Press – if you’d like to see more of these excerpts, please like and share this post and sign up to follow the blog. (Also, if you’re interested in the upcoming EEN book club, please see the link on the home page for soulscientistblog).

Psalm 56:4 JUB In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

Dearest Sarah,

This is not the letter I’d planned to write you today. Nor is the way I’m writing you how I’d planned. Yet this is the what and the how of the plan for good for which our Good God has intended for both of us today.

Before I get any more obtuse here, let me unpack that paragraph. A few days ago I’d outlined what I thought was the next letter for your encouragement. I still have the notes so who knows, you might receive it later? After last night and this morning’s upsurge in health challenges, I didn’t plan on writing you amidst all that is this resistant and persistent pain. But here I am knowing that this letter isn’t just for you, it’s for me too*.

I read that verse from Psalm 56 a few days ago in a new light. The light of truly being afraid what my own flesh might do to me in overwhelming symptoms and a fresh sorrow of more being lost from my days from the diseases. Other people don’t necessarily scare me but my own flesh, that just can’t be forgotten as much I as I might want to quiet it from its pain and decay. I can either fear my flesh or accept it in the truth that nothing is outside of what my Good God controls. The pain might be overwhelming, but the fear doesn’t have to be.  

There isn’t an effective treatment available for fear, except that of Scripture-packed prayer. My words don’t seem to be enough to counteract fear’s chokehold on my heart and mind. But I’ve found that praying aloud even the shortest of verses can deliver a death-blow to a fear that’s even more stubborn than me. For when I say Scripture aloud, my mind and heart can’t ignore its truth showing fear for what it really is, a lie.

Verses like Psalm 27:1 AMPC The Lord is my Light and my Salvation—whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?  And then, verse 3 GW which says Even though an army sets up camp against me, my heart will not be afraid. Even though a war breaks out against me, I will still have confidence ⌞in the Lord⌟. Did you know that the Bible tells us 366 times not to be afraid**? God knows that fear can be our worst enemy. The fear of a symptom can be worse than the symptom itself, if I let it surround me. Sure, pain often wakes or keeps me awake at nights. But fear, now that’s what turns the pain into a nightmare.

I know deep in the soil of my soul that God surrounds me, day and night, with His love and power that’s stronger than any symptom, diagnosis, or fear itself. But my knowing often needs reminding especially when the doctor’s office calls with an unexpected diagnosis or the symptoms are more stubborn than the medicines and me combined. Challenges like that try to defeat today’s new mercies by opening a crack of doubt for the enemy to slither in with his weapon of fear like he did in Eden. Praying Scripture doesn’t just close the crack to doubt; it defeats it. And if doubt is done in, so is fear.   

For when fear is denied, faith can develop. A developing faith is a maturing faith which is essential for any day’s challenges, especially those found in chronic illness. I can’t do any of this life myself, but I know that nothing’s impossible for the One Who lives in me. And when an army sets up camp against me in symptoms that won’t budge, much less leave, my heart will not be afraid. Because I know this, God is alive in me and making things as good for me won’t ever change. And promises like that made by my Light and my Salvation…the Refuge and Stronghold of my life keeps me believing and writing and hoping, even on days like today when the challenges look larger than my mustard-seed faith.

These challenges remind me to pray even more for you, sweet Sarah.

Your friend,

Beth

*And in thinking on this idea, I’m realizing that all of these letters aren’t just for you, they’re for me too. We all need reminders of truth set plainly on the path in front of us, no matter how far down the path we might be. Solid, steady stones to keep us looking as to our Rock and Redeemer Who always calls us forward in hope, even if this step seems insurmountable and the next step unknown.  

**Any and all of those verses which tell us not to be afraid are great ones to claim and pray and believe on hard days. Fear flees when the light of truth from our Good God’s Word to us is shone upon it.

written by and copyrighted to Beth Madison, Ph.D., 2024.