This is another excerpt from “Letters to Sarah: Thriving in Chronic Illness” coming in 2024 from Northeastern Baptist Press – stay tuned for more on release date of this book as a part of “The Nevertheless Project”.
Isaiah 50:7 BRG For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.
Dearest Sarah,
I can still remember the first time I heard this verse nearly thirty-five years ago. (Rather, I read this verse in one of Elisabeth Elliot’s books. But it spoke so clearly to my soul, it was as if I heard it.) Elisabeth used it in reference to her time of waiting and not knowing what was next before her marriage to Jim. She chose to set her face like a flint in the determined deciding of trusting God with His plan for this moment and then to do the same in the next moment and onwards.
Her wanting for the moment was opposite to what God had for her at that moment. I resonated with that verse and her decision then. And I think the verse speaks even stronger to me in this moment now.
The wanting of all of this with my body to be fixed. And to be fixed now.
Just like I’ve wanted for over twelve years now.
I’m pretty sure you feel the same. It’s as if my mind and will are pushing against a locked door going nowhere and accomplishing nothing except further frustration and emotional exhaustion. That’s me choosing my way or the highway. That’s not me choosing His way which is a highway as seen in Isaiah 35:8a RSV And a highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Holy Way.
Isn’t that an intriguing name for a road? The Holy Way. But if you think about it, it’s a most appropriate name. Appropriate because God will go before us and make the road Himself for us. He alone can make paths through the deserts, flatten mountains, and raise valleys for us to walk on. He can carve out clefts in rocks and smooth stones for our use. He alone can make seas and rivers into dry ground for us to tread.
This name is also appropriate because it’s where our Good God wants to teach us to be holy like He is (see 1 Peter 1:15). And this highway through chronic illness is where I am learning that holiness is far more than what I’d expected in challenges of trusting God and closeness with Him. I’ve heard numerous people preach, teach, and sing about the Holy Way for years. Yet, there’s a big difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge about holiness (or about anything life-changing, for that matter).
Holiness requires all of me, all the time, in all the ways. The not complaining about symptoms to others (but being fully honest with the doctor) and the not comparing of situations to what used to be (but looking forward to what is promised in heaven). The not worrying (but the not dismissing of what needs to looked at) and the not asking why (but asking how I can be of help to you). The not giving up (but with proper pacing for self-care) and the not going there into doubt or despair (but lamenting loss in moving towards acceptance). And the so much more of the rest of this day which is overwhelming if I choose to look at it and thus, idolize what I can (or can’t) do today.
None of those lessons are “one and done”. Learning them from the beginning starts over with each new day (but with fresh mercies, not a stuck-in-a-movie-loop kind of way (see Lamentations 3:22-23)). Yet each of those choices help set me moving forward on the highway to holiness. And that road always leads to Jesus and joy.
There’s no roadmap in chronic illness as each one’s journey is different and dynamic. And that’s a beautiful thought in itself – I am not dependent on following in another’s path; I am to be deliberately setting my face like a flint while taking that next step of trusting God on the highway before me. Jesus has done all that is needed for me for holiness already. I am given this road as a gift for life purchased by His life.
I think our Good God protects us in not letting us see the entire road (hence no map) because of our own lack of faith and strength for the walking in holiness on it. Yet He keeps reminding us that He is with us all along the way. He’s made the highway for me and me for it. And best of all, at the end of this highway is heaven where He’s waiting to say well done, good and faithful servant if I keep on choosing to walk with my face like a flint all the way there from here. And He’s gonna do the same for you too, dear Sarah.
As ever, I’m praying for you today.
Much love from your friend,
Beth
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written by and copyrighted to Beth Madison, Ph.D., 2023.
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