This is part 5 of a series of letters written to encourage a friend recently diagnosed with chronic illness. These letters are lessons I’ve learned in the past twelve years of living with chronic illnesses. The first four parts of this series are currently available here on the blog, if you haven’t read them yet.
Philippians 2:3 ERV In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves.
WE Do not try to prove you are better than others. Do not be proud of yourselves, but be humble. Think of other people as being better than yourselves.
Dearest Sarah,
Before you start thinking I wrote that verse twice to shake my finger at you, it’s quite the opposite. It’s there for me. I need to read it over and over in the hopes that the truth of this verse might start to take root in my mind and heart. The soil of my soul is as stubborn as the rest of me, unfortunately.
Scripture tells me the need for humility in many places, including, James 1:21 ICB So put out of your life every evil thing and every kind of wrong you do. Don’t be proud but accept God’s teaching that is planted in your hearts. This teaching can save your souls. I’m sure you know that someone only plants in her garden what she wants to grow – tomatoes, squash, sweet corn, flowers, etc. And that same someone must spend time and energy to remove what she doesn’t want there so that what she wants to grow can thrive. From one who learned very early about weeds, disease, and bugs, lots of things can grow in a garden that aren’t on the garden plan or haven’t been planted with anticipation of their harvest.
The same idea applies to my life, and yours. What we don’t want growing – pride, impatience, greed – will grow faster, thicker, and easier than what we do want growing – humility, grace, joy. And the not-wanted will choke out the wanted, if we don’t spend time, energy, and focus to pull them up and out of the gardens of our lives. Just as bad, those not-wanted will seed and provide a good environment for other not-wanted-s like discontentment to not only thrive but take over a life entirely.
Discontentment breeds and seeds disagreeability, denial, and disappointment. (Trust me, none of those breed or seed anything halfway resembling humility, grace, or joy.) But they do yield a big harvest of resentment, anger, and loneliness. And when you’ve got nothing but a field full of frustration, you’ll be left with anything but peace.
Chronic illness can be a prime breeding and seeding ground for growing weeds of worry, bugs of bitterness, and disease of discontentment. But it doesn’t have to be. Chronic illness can also be a perfect backyard garden for humility, grace, and joy to thrive in abundance. An abundance that overflows your life and fills your family, friends, and neighbors’ lives too!
If you will listen there in the dark and hear God speak through the pain, good seeds of truth will be planted deep in the soil of your soul by our Good God. Seeds of grace that give strength from a hard-won and hard-kept joy. Seeds of peace which sustain through this five-minutes and the next without complaining or crying. Seeds of humility that accept the gift of what you can do without getting lost in the pit of what you wish you could do.
So, dear Sarah, before I dig too deep with this metaphor, please know this – I’ve learned the following truths the hard way these past twelve years with chronic illnesses: I can’t just ignore what shouldn’t be growing in my life; I have to choose to confess my many sins and commit to my Good God every single day; and it’s never easy to commit to grace and to get rid of selfishness, but it’s always worth it.
I must claim what is true – that of Scripture. I must get rid of what isn’t true – how I feel now and the wanting to give up or in to the pain. And making these choices is especially necessary when it’s especially hard…
Sarah, I continue to pray for you, day and night. I look forward to seeing good growth in the garden of your life in the rich soil of suffering. All of this will bear a rich harvest for our Good God, if we choose His plan and purpose for our lives, here in the pain.
With much love,
Beth
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written by and copyrighted to Beth Madison, Ph.D., 2023.
Soul Scientist 
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